DEAR DIARY

I am writing the diary. Daily. Mostly in the morning, right after I wake up. These days, I wake up, make a white tea – this big love I discovered last year – and get back to bed still half-asleep, putting the words on the paper.

I start with three things I am thankful for. Some days I need to think a bit more, and some days I continue writing and three things easily become ten. There are days and days. After “Attitude Gratitude,” I continue writing my thoughts. I had no specific thoughts – just the ones crossing my drowsy mind at that moment. Sometimes it is lovely poetry, sometimes I am grasshopping from topic to topic. My diaries are mostly A5 format, and I cover the whole page.

At the end, I write “I love you Vendushka” as a reminder of days when I didn’t fancy myself as much and was so much seeking appreciation from outside, days when time spent by myself I considered a waste of time. “I love you Vendushka” is the best reminder that even alone, I am in the best company.

I collect my diaries and have them all with me, from time to time listing inside of them and remembering how I felt back then, as well as the motivation, remembering how long a way I have already walked.

If you don’t want to read what you’ve written, but you would still like to “vomit your thoughts onto the paper,” you can take just a piece of paper, write it all down, and tear it into a hundred pieces afterward. The only thing I can say is that you would be surprised what your pen writes about, sometimes even the things from deep unconsciousness that you would rather let deep down, covered by many other layers. Try it. It can easily work as a kind of self-therapy.

Sometimes the most difficult thing is to start. And if you don’t know what you are thankful for, you always can write:

“I am alive.”

I am sure that’s more than enough.

With love, Vendula